Swirling Maelstroms of Brain matter.

This isn’t game related, nor is it book related. It’s going to be a post on emotions, swirling maelstroms of brain matter, and general sadness. I’m also not naming names, nor am I going to give hints as to who the post may relate to, so as to protect the innocent. You know the drill.

Last week, someone close to me took an overdose. They spent the night in the hospital, and we found out the next day. This person is lovely. They have just landed an awesome job in the exact field they wanted to be in. But, they suffer from Depression, and as with a lot of people diagnosed with it, overamplifies or misunderstands intentions and words, winding them around until what started as a throw away comment ends up with huge momentum impacting on every action and thought. Eventually, they decided that things would never improve, and they took an overdose.

The above statement took me too long to write. I scrubbed it out, and rewrote it a number of times. I’m still not convinced that it reads how I mean it to, and don’t want it to appear that I’m belittling the triggers for this, I’m absolutely not.

I personally don’t suffer from Depression. Sometimes I feel low, sometimes I feel high. Mostly I consider myself a ‘normal person’ in so far as there is one. Perhaps I have a tendency to overthink things, but my brain also comes with an off-switch. I can flick this by indulging in computer games, board games, and in fact anything that requires my brain to strategise. I am, however, surrounded by people that _do_ suffer from it. (I say surrounded, like its some kind of plague, with outstretched arms, and moans of “Xaannaaxxxxxx”, you know what I mean…)

There’ve been millions of blog posts written about Depression. But when it hits close to home, you’re left feeling helpless. How do you show the person how much you care about them? How do you tell them how great they are? How can you convince them that what you’re saying is true, and not just something that you’re expected to say?

We sat down, and talked about it. Not at length, because it was obviously an uncomfortable situation, but we talked. Ultimately I think this is all we can do. I’m here. I’m available. This is the message I tried to get over. This is the message WE tried to get over.

But, the message also applies to everyone I know. If you’re part of my life, you’re part of my life because you’re awesome. If you think you’re not awesome, chances are you’re wrong. If things are shit, if it seems like everyone dislikes you, or everyone ignores you, or even that you just don’t see how things could get better… Know this. Things get better. Everything might seem shit, but it gets better. You may have fallen out with someone, but people fall out. It happens. If they’re worth being friends with, they’ll come around. If they’re not worth being friends with, save those neurons for focusing on people that are. (I don’t know if Neurons are used for focused thinking. Go with it?) If you want to talk, talk to me. If you can’t face talking because you’re anxious, nervous, shy etc. Send me an email. Send me a text. @ me on twitter. We can talk, we can help. Things will get better. Worst case scenario is that I use a pun so badly that you want to kill me, but thats ok. Direct it at me instead!

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